As with all good cults, we have a number of prophecies. Unlike other cults, however, we can be far more certain of the accuracy of these prophecies, since they detail events that have already happened. The risk of inaccuracy in prophecies detailing the future can only rarely be avoided.
However, it has been drawn to our attention that to achieve proper recognition as a cult, it is necessary to submit four prophecies of the future per active prophet, which will then be assessed for international prophetic excellence. In the interests of openness, the four planned submissions (our current size means that we only require one full-time prophet) are quoted here. We have aimed to give a varied cross-section of both the style and scope of the prophecies.
Submitted prophecies
Submission 1
It will rain tomorrow
Submission 2
They shall come from the North, East, South and West, and some shall choose the path of holiness, and the reward shall be redistributed to them. Others shall choose the path of unholiness, and shall be cast down, and the Eternal Court shall not hear them.
Submission 3
There shall be a time when those of the centre and those of the edge shall be told that they are all of a shape, and there shall be those among them who do not believe, and there shall be moderate suffering resulting.
Submission 4
And so it shall be the way, that one shall come before the assembled, and shall speak on the future, and the assembled shall ignore them, and the one shall be content with this.
Other prophecies
The ancient curse broken, but the battle not yet won, the initiate shall view the ancestral journey back, and shall know their destiny.